September is just around the corner, the kids are going back to school and nobody really knows what will happen as cooler weather comes, the pandemic churns on and we start to move indoors. We’re already burned out and the idea of what’s to come, well, most of us can’t even go there. With the future so uncertain we need a strategy to double down on what is within our control.
Like many parents who worked from home while navigating kids and online school, it felt like feeding the family became another full-time job. The constant buying of groceries (and it all disappeared within hours!) along with a full roster of breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner was distracting and a constant drain on my energy. In hindsight I see that I ended up doing way more than I should have in this area because I failed to enforce a boundary with my kids about my availability during work hours.
That’s why I think that now is a very good time to refresh boundaries, which act as a container to reinforce our priorities and our physical and mental health. A lack of boundaries tends to show up because many of us are set up with a belief system that tells us that we need to do everything. It’s our autopilot to always take on more. Even though we might not be happy being the overly responsible one, we minimize and rationalize the impact it has on us. We tell ourselves that things will be better next week. This was just a bad week. If I don’t do it then nobody else will. It’s easier just to do it myself.
Control is also at play. When we have high standards we need to be the one that takes charge and make it all happen in line with our expectations. That might work during normal times when life unfolds more predictably but as soon as extra pressure and adversity hits, being the one that does everything at a high standard means we push ourselves harder and harder to control it all. That leads us straight into burnout.
If you can relate to feeling like you say yes to too much and take on too much and those choices negatively impact your health, relationships or work, now is the time to strategically use that information. We have to shift our mindset in the direction of sustainability as we continue to navigate so many unknown factors. The only way to keep ourselves on track to sustainably show up in our lives and be effective is by reinforcing boundaries that protect our physical and mental well-being. Boundaries are excellent self-care put into practice. The first step is to think about where you could set a boundary that will help you with sustainability. When you understand where your boundaries are needed it makes it more likely that you apply them.